Respect

I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what to write about.  I thought I might write about the ten suggestions, formally known as the Ten Commandments, before the politically correct and the I don’t believe in God crowds got wind of them.  Then I remembered my visit to my dermatologist just the other day.  There in the room where I waited was a notice that gave me the topic I’d like to write about.  I will explain later about that notice.

I was brought up in a home where we were taught respect.  I am not sure if very many homes have that particular objective high on the list of things to teach the kids.  There certainly isn’t much respect displayed out there in the public sector.

What is respect?  Aretha Franklin had her definition of respect and she put to song.  Have a listen to what she had to say or rather sing…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0XAI-PFQcA

I looked it up on line (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/respect) and the definition had me more confused than I was before I looked it up.  I had to get half way down the page before I realized I was looking for the verb form not the noun deal.  That explains my problem with English when I was in High School.

I thought that I actually knew the definition of respect before I looked it up.  Then I discovered that I didn’t know the half of it (what ever that means).  The other night (Tuesday) we had a cook out with the cub scouts.  Before we headed out to try and start the next great wildfire (we can’t let New Mexico out do us) we had our opening exercises.  We do the pledge of allegiance, the scout promise and then an opening prayer.

The boys rushed through the pledge of allegiance with everyone saying it at a different speed.  It was not acceptable.  I stopped them at that point.  I told them what I am about to tell you.  I spent four years in the Navy and seven years as a buck Sergeant in the Army National Guard.  I put my life on the line to defend the flag and all that it stands for.  It deserves respect.  When we (any of us) as Americans say the pledge we should say it with respect.

When I was a young man (in my twenties) I was tough.  I could and did on a few occasions stand toe to toe in a ring and trade punches with someone else foolish enough to do the same.  I could hit a four-inch bulls eye with an M-16 at one hundred yards and do the same thing at fifteen yards with my four inch 38.  I may have had all that tough guy stuff going for me but every time they played the Star Spangled Banner or Anchors Away tears would come to my eyes.  I had learned respect for my country, the flag and the freedom we have here in this wonderful country of ours.

I realized something yesterday when I was talking about this with my teenage granddaughter.  She said something that really makes a lot of sense.  If you are nice to people first it heads off their being rude to you.  Sort of like a pre-emptive “show respect for others” strike.

I started to think about the fact that most people I come in contact with are nice.  Then I thought about what my granddaughter said and wondered how many of them didn’t get the chance to be rude because of my pre-emptive smile.  I draw it like a gun.

The way that we behave in public shows everyone around us how much respect we have inside of us.  Take the characters that use profanity in public places.  I am a firm believer that in some cases profanity is a crutch for people with a limited vocabulary.  In other cases it is a direct result of having no respect for those within earshot.

Have I ever used profanity?  Hey, does a bear defecate in the woods?  Jumped around that one didn’t I.  I was a sailor and a soldier I know a bunch of nasty words you probably haven’t even heard.  Even back then when I was a sailor I had enough respect for others to not use profanity in mixed company or in front of people I didn’t know very well.

Lack of respect seems to be running deep these days.  It’s not gone for good, respect that is, it’s just on an extended vacation.  At least that is what I am hoping for.  Our day-to-day lives can be improved by just a little respect.

At the start of this I mentioned a visit to my dermatologist.  Her name is Annette Headley and she is a great doctor.  When I showed up thirty minutes late for my appointment (I had the incorrect time) she accommodated my error.  Her staff is polite and very nice to talk to.  While I was awaiting her examination I noticed a printed notice on the wall in the examining room.  It basically stated that some patients have exhibited rude and some times abusive behavior towards the staff and noted that if you did that you would be asked to leave and would not be welcomed back.  I can only imagine what would make someone behave that way in her office.  My conclusion was simply a lack of respect laced with liberal amounts of ignorance.

Respect starts with each of us as individuals.  It’s called “Self Respect”.  I’m sure that you have heard of it.  Once you have learned how to respect yourself you can move on to the other forms of respect.  I find it difficult to imagine someone who can’t respect themselves, respecting someone else.

The rules are pretty simple.  To be able to respect yourself you need to emulate those things that generate respect.  Would you respect someone who tells a lie at the drop of a hat?  That would be number nine on the list of ten suggestions.  If the answer to that question is no then you will have trouble having self respect if you lie out of hand to other people.

Here is a list of three things that you can do to build your own self-respect.

1. Be honest (don’t lie)
2. Don’t take things that don’t belong to you (don’t steal)
3. Don’t cheat on you spouse  (commit adultery)

You know what, this is starting to sound like the list of those ten suggestions!  Go figure!!

I guess in the long run it’s like the golden rule with a small modification.  You just need to respect others the way that you would want to be respected.  That isn’t all that hard to do.  And you don’t have to know them to respect them.

Start today for a more respectful tomorrow.  Start by showing respect to our veterans.  Help them any way you can.  In that light, just a reminder that the 50% of the royalties I get are going to help my fellow veterans.

Until next time, keep your powder dry and a smile on your face.  And if you can email me what “Keep your powder dry” means I will reply back with a copy of “A Rare Encounter” for you to read.
 Thank you for your time!!
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