You Can't Fix Stupid

A long time ago when I was working for Dow Biopharmaceuticals a coworker, Pam Bennit, told me that you couldn’t fix stupid.  Being a fix it kind of guy I wasn’t sure I agreed with her analysis only lately I’m leaning more toward her being correct at least a good part of the time.

I suppose that since we just passed through the political season the concept of “Stupidity” is more obvious than usual.  As if it wasn’t already too prevalent!  I looked up stupid to see if my understanding of the word actually coincides with reality.  I especially liked the comment in one of the definitions that “stupid” is in the eye of the beholder.  That gives us all some room to be stupid.

I have come to the conclusion that no matter how smart you are you can still be stupid.  Take the gal who designed the toilets used in the Westerly Hospital.  I’m sure that she is quite smart.  I say gal because a guy would have realized that the distance from where your bottom rests to the water level would be insufficient for the male anatomy.

I refrained from writing during the crazy time running up to the election because I have some very strong opinions and I didn’t want to drive away readers with my political views.  I like to write about things that just might help the reader have a happier life no matter which side of the isle you sit on.

There are some times when you do need to hold your tongue.  Then there are other time when holding your tongue only gets you a sore tongue.  I don’t need a sore tongue this week. 

There are some things that you just have to comment on and let what ever is going to happen, happen.  After the horrific event in Newtown for me being stupid took on a very different face.  When your stupidity results in part of your body getting wet when you sit on a toilet there is nothing lost, but when being stupid has an end result of someone loosing their life it is a whole different matter.  I will get into that a bit later, for now here are some of the less tragic stupidity out there.

In September of last year New York City banned soft drinks of larger than 16 oz. at restaurants mobile food carts, sports arenas and movie theaters.  Presumably you can still buy two 16 oz. drinks only you won’t have a free hand to hold the candy bar that they will probably ban next.  If that isn’t stupid enough the gal who wrote the article that I read called it a “bold experiment in the anti-obesity campaign”.  It gets even better. 

She claimed that it is widely supported by health professionals.  I don’t know who those professionals are but their middle name is Stupid.  (Note the use of a capital S)  If they think that limiting the size of the drink is going to accomplish anything (other than costing the guy or gal that will now buy two drinks instead of one more money) they are, well, Stupid.  As always, the winner here is the taxman and possibly the people who make the cups.

There is good news in all of this.  You can still buy alcoholic beverages in the larger size because they are exempt.  Happy days are here again.  Instead of being poisoned by that nasty sugar you can get smashed with a thirty two ounce glass of beer or wine or, hey this is stupid.  Wait just a minute, is having a beer belly considered obese?  I guess since beer is exempt the beer belly must be okay.  Maybe we should ask those health professionals about it.  Nah, they are probably too busy figuring out what to ban from the school lunch programs.

Just a little side note on this obesity thing when I went to visit my doctor he told me that by the new standards that they have set I am now considered obese.  I have no idea exactly who they are but they certainly seem to get around.  The deal here is that I actually lost ten pounds from the last time I went to see him.  That was when I wasn’t obese.  I’m confused.  Someone is stupid here and I’m not sure just who it is.

Here is the problem and perhaps you would agree.  People’s weight is not something the government should be trying control.  The United States is supposed to be the land of the free.  That is what I fought for when I put on the uniform (Army and Navy).  If your snap answer is that it is a public health issue, I would remind you that the label “a public health issue” can apply to just about everything you do every day and the rule makers know that.  Watch out you sun bathers; they are coming after you next.  Ever hear of skin cancer?

When I googled stupid I discovered a list of thirty stupid things that the government spends our money on.  How about three million bucks to research video games.  I wonder if I can get in on that.  I play video games!!  I can do the research for half price!!  Oh wait, I don’t have a master’s degree in doing studies, never mind.  Here is another one, sixteen to twenty million to help Indonesians get masters degrees.  I could use one of those!  Then I could do the video game thing.  Never mind, I can’t afford to move to Indonesia.  There are twenty-eight more, you should check them out. 

You run into stupid just about everywhere you go.  Many years ago when I owned a contracting business I went to a local hardware store to get something.  I asked the guy who was one of the owners if they gave contractor discounts.  He said no they didn’t.  Then came the stupid part, he asked, “Why would you want a discount?”  I didn’t have an answer for him.  It was my turn to be stupid.

Now for the serious part of the discussion, since the horrible events Newtown people in high places have been displaying stupidity at an alarming rate.  What happened in that school is more than a tragedy.  For me, the most terrible part is that had people who make the decisions done things differently perhaps most of it could have been prevented and I’ll tell you why.

I recently watched a video of a ten-minute standoff between an armed resource officer and an armed individual who was later shot dead by the police.  That school resource officer protected the kids in that school and saved lives that would have otherwise been taken.  Whoever it was who decided to have an armed individual in that school saved lives.  If I were responsible for keeping armed guards out of the Connecticut schools I would not be sleeping well right now or for that matter, ever again.  To not have provided some kind of protection for the kids was Stupid and the kids paid the ultimate price for that stupidity. 

So, just a note to all those who make the decisions about such matters; if you oppose armed guards of some type in our schools and you are successful in keeping them out remember this; if another event like Newtown takes place you will have to live with that.  In addition, I hope you never get a decent nights sleep again here or in the place you go to when you leave this earth.

When I was in the Navy I was a security guard for the missile house and I had to qualify each year with my model 1911 Colt .45.  I hit what I shoot at and I have NO doubt at all that had I (or someone like myself) been in the office at Newtown with my sidearm that lunatic would not have gotten past the front entrance.

There was another article written by someone named Alma Rutgers stating that if we do put armed guards in schools the “Newtown gunman wins and the children lose”.  Here is a news flash for Alma; the gunman has already won.  He did everything he set out to do.  The children will lose only if we do not take the correct steps to protect them.  Anything else would be just plain stupid.

There is a sign on a restaurant that says “No Firearms Allowed”.  I won’t eat there because the management just might be Stupid.  If someone comes in and decides to shoot a few people one thing is guaranteed, no one will be there who will shoot back to stop him.  Please note that the Buffalo Wild Wings located at the Crystal Mall does not have that sign posted.   I checked.

I heard one politician say that if everyone were allowed to carry guns it would end up in a “Dodge City Mentality” with shootouts a common occurrence.  I assume that he was speaking of the old west Dodge City.  The problem here is that you were safer walking the streets back in the old west Dodge City with a six gun strapped to your hip than you are in present day Chicago.  Stupid is in here somewhere and it won’t be hard to find.

I have one more thing to say about this gun debate.  Each year hammers and clubs than kill more people than rifles and to confuse the issue even more nearly twice as many people are killed by hands and fists each year than by murderers who use rifles.  Banning assault rifles, which by the way you can’t get anyway, won’t fix this problem.  We should ban hammers and clubs!!  Okay, what do we do about the hands?  I know, everyone will be required to have handcuffs on when they leave the house!  Boy, this is really stupid.  On top of that anywhere from 800,000 to 2.5 million criminal acts are stopped by private citizens with guns every year.   Ban all guns and, oh well, you figure it out. 

One more thing before I close, back in the old west there were not many horse thieves.  That was because they use to hang them.  You figure out what I mean by that.

Until next time, protect and keep watch over your family because it appears that no one else will.  And if you think all of this is just stupid, it’s okay because after all, “Stupid is in the eye of the beholder”.

Please note that I am donating 50% of the royalties from my novel to "Soldier On".  They provide housing for homeless veterans.  Please help me help those who have given so much to provide the freedom we all enjoy.

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